Notions

Cartoon by Ronald Searle

I’m been thinking about preconceived notions.  I don’t know, maybe it’s because I am getting older and my patience is heading south along with my… well, you know.  But they’re really getting to me.

Why, for instance, do corporate executives believe they are entitled to jumbo bonuses when the companies they manage are going under?

And why is it appropriate to pay sports figures huge sums of money to play a game when so many hard-working people are barely making enough to get by, if they make even that much?

Why do car salesmen (yes, salesmen, because I hope saleswomen know better) think that only men are capable of buying a car?

Why are tall men more competent to do a job?  Or thin women?  And why is any woman less competent in the first place?

Why do men become distinguished looking as they get older while women turn into crones?

Why do so many younger people think that someone becomes less intelligent and hard of hearing as they get older?   “Maybe if I speak really simple sentences really loudly, she’ll understand…” And why do they think an older person has nothing interesting to say anyway?

Along those same lines, why do some English speakers assume that the non-English speaker will understand more if spoken to more loudly?   And why do so many American travelers in a foreign country expect everyone there to understand English?

Why do some high-end restaurants assume the man is picking up the tab and give the “little woman” the menu with no prices on it?

Why do young parents believe that everyone thinks their little darlings are adorable, even when they’re behaving like they’ve been raised by wolves?  This seems especially true in restaurants.

Why do food manufacturers think the way to make low-fat foods taste better is to add tons of sugar?  Or salt?  Why do the words “restricted diet” and “delicious” seem like an oxymoron?

Why do the designers of public restrooms assume that only three women will ever need to visit at one time?  And that all three of them are short?

Why are the only fashionable women under a size 12 in the minds of clothing manufacturers?  Do larger women not care about being dumpy or wearing a full-body polyester outfit in garish colors?

And while we’re on the subject of fashion, why do shoe manufacturers assume all women have small feet?  And if they do have larger feet, those feet are narrow?

Why are so many preconceived notions so ill-conceived?  I don’t know, and I’m just an incompetent woman who doesn’t know any better anyway.  So I’ll just walk my large, dumpy (but colorful) self away, clomping along unstylishly in my men’s sneakers, and go play mah jong with my other crone friends.  Or something.

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16 Responses to Notions

  1. souldipper says:

    Yeah, Pattiken.

    And why is it that anyone doing work that is spiritually uplifting doesn’t need to be paid – or is very happy doing it for nothing?

    Enough said – back I go to my abundance dance.

    • PattiKen says:

      What? Spiritual gratification and self-actualization aren’t enough for you? 😉

      (Of course, were you of the other gender, you’d probably be paid big bucks. With a “golden parachute,” even. Just saying…)

  2. JeffScape says:

    1. Greed.

    2. Because people pay to see those sports, creating the revenue with which to pay the people who play those sports.

    3. Actually, one told me it’s less gender-related and more “what they’re wearing.”

    4. Why do “strong-jawed” males get promoted in the military more quickly than anyone else? Who knows? How come peacocks get better sex dependent on their tail feathers? Who knows?

    5. This is one is totally arguable. “Helen Mirren” is all I’ll say.

    6. Sorry, I don’t understand. Use simple sentences.

    7. It’s the international airport syndrome. Because, let’s face it, in tourist spots, everyone DOES speak English.

    8. Sheeeot! I’m the FIRST ONE to give the woman the check!

    9. Because parents are blind to their own children. It’s like the “isn’t my spouse hot?” or “aren’t my kids cute?” questions. No, they are not. And I shall tell you so.

    10. Because of my workout schedule, I eat what I want, so I haven’t noticed.

    11. Why can’t we all just piss outside?

    12. I’m sure there’s a demographic/spending correlation for this. How much more is an “average-sized” woman going to spend on fashion than a “large-sized” woman. It’s unfair, yeah, but money talks.

    13. Let’s not talk about feet.

    14. And have an Ovaltine while you’re at it. 😉

    • PattiKen says:

      1. Agreed, and because the largest stockholders are machines who don’t care.

      2. Gah.

      3. WHAT??? That may be the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.

      4. Ah-ha-ha. And oh, yeah, why does the male lion get to lay around fluffing up his hair and deciding who gets to eat when the female does all the hunting?

      5. OK, but you are perhaps an enlightened guy or have an older woman fetish.

      6. I SAY…

      7. OK, I’ll buy that. But if those “Ugly Americans” made half an effort to speak the language of the land, they’d discover that a.) many more people spoke English than was at first apparent and b.) Parisians and New Yorkers are far from rude.

      8. Like I said, enlightened.

      9. I usually just leave.

      10. Show off.

      11. Because we can’t pass the “write-your-name-in-the-snow” test yet.

      12. Oh, yeah? I wonder what Oprah would have to say about that.

      13. Yeah, let’s not go there.

      14. Ever since they stopped putting a Captain Midnight Secret Decoder Ring in the Ovaltine, I’ve switched to Moxie. 😉

  3. Astute observations…fun post and interesting comments!
    As for heading south…sad, ain’t it?

  4. buttercup600 says:

    All this made me laugh at the same time because it is so true…sad in a way!!! Much fun to read Patti and I agree on many of your statements…and bugger all of this, as long as we have a voice, we’ll stand tall!! Love to you dear one 🙂 xx

  5. tracyhsays says:

    Wonderful post, Patti…this is the kind of stuff I was writing before I got into all this damned “Love Poetry” 🙂 LOL So, if you don’t mind, I’ll jump in your thought pool and have a swim…
    1) Because…”It’s good to be the king…”
    2) Because…all of us struggling blue-collar folk spend our rent on tickets, jerseys, hats, signed balls, shoes (I was a sucker for all things Andre Agassi in the day), beer, hot dogs, pay-per-view, video games…ad infinitum.
    3) Car salesmen think everyone is a chump…they just think they can bully a woman.
    4) $^@& tall men and thin women…give a fat guy and a short woman (and vise versa) a chance!
    5) So our old crone of a woman will still want to have sex with us…
    6) Because older folks have learned to slow down and take time to enjoy the little things…and slow to the hyped up youngsters means “slow” all around. @$**&^%#! kids!
    7) I have caught myself doing that…and I felt so silly. Folks can’t afford Rosetta Stone…they have to buy game tickets and the new team jersey.
    8) Ah, Hell…they ain’t no different menus at the Roadhouse…she needs to know how much I’m spendin’…she knows the NASCAR race is in town next week, and I need a new Jeff Gordon DuPont Chevrolet jacket!
    9) Because the little hellions ARE being raised by wolves.
    10) They call it Fat-Free because that sounds better than Taste-Free…and most people eat so much salt that that’s all they taste anyway.
    11) Same thing for men…like it was designed for “It’s a Small World”! I go straight to the spacious handicapped stall…nice tall toilet in there and a handrail…seriously, all stalls should be like that.
    12) Hey…I like a larger woman who looks like she’s wearing a Jackson Pollock painting…kidding, I prefer a Monet 🙂
    13) One good thing about large feet…harder to get them in your mouth. My daughter has big feet…but they are narrow 🙂

    Thanks for indulging my Ranter 🙂

    Hugs Patti

  6. God Bless all crones, and creaky-boned women in men’s sneakers. Your questions were just too intelligent and too logical to bear thinking about without running out to buy poster paint and making a large wooden sign so I could march along the street, preferably in front of a gentlemen’s club full of bankers and CEO’s, and sing (to the tune of we shall overcome), “I burned my bra now look at me, burned my bra you see, burned it in the name of free-e-e-e-dom, Oh-oh deep in my heart, I do believe, Droopy boobs are beau-u-ti-ful.” Women unite, We’ve still got the right and the spirit to laugh, laugh and laugh again! Great posting, Pattiken!

  7. Jamie Dedes says:

    You rock …

    I’d add one more:
    Why do we become invisible when our hair turns grey or white?

  8. Jamie Dedes says:

    Didn’t remember her. Had to go look her up. Remembered when I saw pix … yes she aged well and in an interesting way …

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