Imagine my excitement!
Have you noticed? Nothing fits. If it fits, it’s downright dumpy. Or made out of recycled soda bottles. Things used to fit. They fit fine when I was 25. But I haven’t seen 25 in a good many years, and it’s possible I haven’t found a pair of remotely stylish jeans that really fit in about as long. Gah.
Well, somebody finally realized that there’s this whole big bunch of women out there who are not 25 any longer. What a concept. Not only that, there’s this “Baby Boomer” thing, and none of Baby Boomers, not one of the more than 400,000 of them, is 25 any longer. And it stands to reason that about half of these Baby Boomers are women. Hmmm, maybe there’s a market there…
Gee, ya think?
And along came a product called Not Your Daughter’s Jeans. Whoa, Nelly! Shut the front door! Jeans made for women who have been keeping the home fires burning, raising children, juggling career and family, while keeping the planet populated, for heaven’s sake? Jeans made for women with bodies that have lived? I was excited.
Now, you know that fashion doesn’t come cheap. Dumpy, ill-fitting jeans are affordable. But jeans that actually fit? Oh, no, Grasshopper. There is a handsome price to pay for stylishness. Still. Jeans that fit. It might be worth it.
So the first Nordstrom’s I see, I’m there, in the Jeans Department (yes, they actually have a whole department of nothing but jeans, 98% of them made for women under 25). I find the rack with a nice selection of these “jeans that fit,” and pick out a few pairs that actually look new. No holes, frayed edged, bleached-out spots, just nice-looking new jeans in my size. I go into the dressing room, and with great trepidation, I start to pull a pair on. At about the point where the typical pair of fashionable jeans starts to meet resistance, these jeans actually continue on up to the waist. And they fasten. And then I take a step. Oh-oh. What the heck? Oh, no-o-o-o! These terrific-looking jeans fit everywhere like they were made for me. Everywhere except for the knees.
OK, maybe it’s just that cut. I try on every pair, and every. single. pair. of. them. is. too. tight. in. the. knees.
These may be Not your Daughter’s Jeans, but they are apparently made for your daughter’s knees.